I spend the first half of every week in Milwaukee, then I drive home to Naperville on Wednesday. I try to ignore how much of my life dissolves onto the highways between, but then the time that passes is made real by the most insignificant things. Sometimes Fraser will have learned a new phrase, or gotten a haircut, and I feel like I’ve missed everything. Or times like tonight, when I pull up the drive to see that trees which were completely bare on Sunday have suddenly sprouted in to green — these are the things that make my heart weak with some unexplainable lost. I realize how tired I am all the time, and how empty my life feels, and I think that maybe it’s all just not worth it. How am I going to make it another year?
